wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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