I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
