Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
