your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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