Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
