JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
