I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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