i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
