Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
