The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
