is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
