I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've blown a few things in my day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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