Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SLove90 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"

Fav 24 1412 3543
share tweet
(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

Fav 77 2889 5231
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now

Fav 3 1762 1399
share tweet
(647): View more from Ontario

Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

Fav 10 2395 1145
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

Fav 2 803 1524
share tweet
(506): View more from New Brunswick

Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.

Fav 9 998 634
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

Fav 0 666 458
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?

Fav 2 178 62
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I’m going to bedazzle that dick

(725): View more from

What does that even mean

(702): View more from Nevada

No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it

Fav 0 83 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT