"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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