normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
