Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
