I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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