Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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