i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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