we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
