you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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