I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
