What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
