she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
