We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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