We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
