We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
