somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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