Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
