i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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