It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
