We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
