If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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