I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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