All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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