She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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