there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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