16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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