Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
