Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
