I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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