I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
