ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
