Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
