Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
third nipple confirmed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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