my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
