Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
