ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
