Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
