Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
