Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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