Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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