he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can text with my tongue
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
