I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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