Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
