Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize