I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
