What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
