whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
