i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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