Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
