dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
