Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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