He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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