"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
