in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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