Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
